This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.
Okay, I’m about to confess something a little bit taboo: yesterday, I masturbated. A lot. I didn’t have anything particularly outgoing planned for that Sunday: in fact, my day centered around watching my friends compete in the Evolution 2012 fighting game championships in Las Vegas… an event I would have attended had my money not been tied up in other, more pressing affairs. Yes, my Sunday was centered around watching a giant video game tournament. Not very alpha, I know.
So yeah, as I said, I jacked off a lot yesterday. And once more this morning for good measure. I practically had to milk myself at the end. Okay… that was a bit TMI, so here’s a picture to get that image out of your head.
Jackie Chan is holding pandas. Awwwww.
So right now, I’m sitting in my office typing out this post, and I feel extraordinarily relaxed and very clear-headed. The girls I’ve been talking to and seeing recently all seem to have their role assigned to me pretty clearly. The good-date-turned-bad-date I had last week vanished from my head. I haven’t even checked my OkCupid account today, which I usually do to a point of statistical obsession. I am completely and utterly relaxed and this feels good.
I remember back to the encounters I’ve had with a few girls earlier this year. And I remember that the morning after vigorous and tiring sex, the mornings after I’ve left feeling spent: those are the mornings that decide how far the relationship progresses. Men are creatures of a sperm-based masculine sex drive, but once that sex drive is temporarily dialed down, then you can really see yourself and the person that you’re with in a completely different light.
“Why didn’t you stay with that hot doctor chick you were seeing?” my roommate asked me at least twice a week. He didn’t seem to buy my explanation that we just didn’t click, but it was true: once the wild sex was done, there was nothing else for that relationship to grab on to.
On the flip side, I know I’m going to be pretty useless today: I won’t be going out, and I know that I won’t be smashing my own records at the gym because that awesome male sperm energy is drained. And I’m okay with that for today, because I know that my drive will naturally return tomorrow (especially with all the eggs and red meat that I eat), and things will be back to normal.
It feels a bit odd to think and feel this way, because it was just last Tuesday, the eve of the Fourth of July, that I was drinking and flirting up a storm with these hot black chicks, and me and my friends swooped them to my apartment, after which the night deteriorated into a sweaty hangover. It was just last Thursday that I met up with this hot Mexican girl I met at a bar, only to realize that the darkness of that bar masked her bad skin, but I didn’t really give a fuck because I wanted to be up in those cheeks as soon as possible. Those are decisions that I would not make in my current state, but those are also decisions that I don’t regret.
I love my raw masculine energy, but I also love my clear-headed moments of non-sexual self-reflection. And in order to be a complete person, you should have both.
So what’s the lesson? Every so often, it’s okay to beat your dick like it owes you money. Just make sure you don’t plan on going out or doing some heavy lifting or something the next day.
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